Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

Rembrandt, Quinn and Maggie land in a forested glade with only two hours on the timer. Walking up a hill, Maggie notices a man in a hang glider flying above them. The three of them follow the hang glider until it crashes into a tree and help the flier out of his belts. Suddenly, a group of farmers rush up and threaten to kill the man. Rembrandt and Quinn defend him until Sheriff Dawson rides up on his horse and calmly tells the farmers to disperse. He then chides the man, Colin Mallory, that one day he’s going to get into serious trouble. Quinn realizes that the man he’s looking at is his brother and tells him what’s going on.

Colin scoffs and tells Quinn that despite the physical resemblance, there is no way the two can be brothers because his parents would have told him about it. He also says that his parents died when he was very young, forcing him to move a lot during his formative years. This would account for Quinn’s parents not finding Colin when they came back for him. Walking towards El Segundo, Colin’s hometown, Maggie, Rembrandt and Quinn discuss Colin’s life and how he seems to be very much the outcast. Neighbors ignore, spit, and throw urine at the budding inventor. Colin talks how he harnessed lightning and how he feels that electricity would be a safe addition to his society, but everyone else feels differently.

In town, Colin runs into his girlfriend, Susannah Morehouse. Colin and Susannah chat for a bit about the hang glider, and Susannah blushingly asks about Maggie’s clothes, saying she could never wear such outfits. Suddenly, Susannah’s mother bursts out the door and yells at her daughter for talking to Colin, whom she perceives as being a necromancer. [Ed. Note: A necromancer is someone who speaks with the dead.] She then balks at the Sliders outrageous attire, asking Maggie how any woman could wear such clothing. After telling Colin that Susannah has been promised to another, Mother Morehouse drags her daughter into the house and closes the door.

Colin bring Quinn, Maggie and Rembrandt to his home and shows them some of his inventions. By Earth Prime standards, the inventions are crude, but Quinn regards his brother as a genius and plays with the devices until Colin stops him. Colin is fascinated by the timer’s LCD readout, but with only 10 minutes left before the window opens, Quinn helps his brother to believe their story by locating a microdot similar to the one Quinn used in Genesis. Convinced, Colin joins his fellow Sliders and slides to the next world, where he is almost hit by a truck as he stares at it, amazed.

At the Chandler Hotel, Maggie tells Colin that they usually stay at this hotel and in the same room. While they check in, Colin plays with a tape dispenser and Quinn pays cash for the room, which alerts suspicion from the clerk, who asks for DNA debit or bone graft as a way of payment. A video camera records their image.

Upstairs, Colin is blown away by the amount of technology available to him. The television, telephone, Pepsi and bathroom are all things that Colin explores. Rembrandt and Maggie go shopping with some of Rembrandt’s ill-gotten ATM money so that Colin and Quinn can get to know each other. They talk briefly, but with not much to say, Colin and Quinn head down to the restaurant portion of the hotel to grab a bite to eat. Colin and Quinn grab some drinks, and Quinn gets up for a minute to grab some food from the buffet. Colin looks over and recognizes Susannah’s double, wearing a slinky red dress that surprises Colin. He walks over to her and tries to get her to recognize him, but when she doesn’t he moves to leave but buys Susannah a drink with cash. Susannah, suddenly interested, asks Colin if he has a bone graft or DNA debit, and when he says no, leads him outside and into a minivan parked on the street. Quinn sees Colin leave and races outside, but Colin has disappeared.

Susannah pulls up in front of a cryobank and tells Colin that her Uncle Ray is being held in a retirement facility against his will and she wants to get him out, but because she has a bone graft to identify her, she’d be discovered before she could get Uncle Ray out. She tells Colin about the cryogenics and tells him the suite number and pushes him through the door. Colin searches for Uncle Ray’s cryobed and finds him.

When Rembrandt and Maggie return from their shopping trip, Quinn frantically tells them what has happened, and the three of them go to their room in the hopes that Colin went upstairs. Quinn calls the police, but before the phone can ring, Officer Dawson of the LAPD knocks on the door and politely tells them that he knows where Colin is, and produces several photographs showing Colin pushing a coffin out of the Cryogenics Facility. Dawson admits that they check out everyone who pays with cash since it’s so uncommon. Dawson continues, and tells the Sliders that stealing a body and using its DNA to clean out their bank accounts is a new crime that has arisen after the creation of DNA accounts that let your assets collect interest while you lie in deep freeze. Quinn tells Dawson that Colin would never do something so malicious, and Dawson believes him, telling him to give him a call if anything happens.

Colin drives with Susannah to her house, where Mother Morehouse greets him and tells him they’ll be having some pizza after Uncle Ray is thawed out. She then leaves him in a room and removes the phone so that he can’t call anyone. However, Colin had previously lifted a cell phone from Susannah’s car and finds the Chandler Hotel in the phone book and calls Quinn. Quinn instructs Colin to find the address and the three of them go to the address. Quinn picks the lock and is about to rescue Colin when the Morehouse family enters the room, holding them at gunpoint. Suddenly, Dawson and the LAPD appear and arrest both Susannah and Mother Morehouse. Colin leads the detective to the sauna and shows everyone that he didn’t steal a body, but a bunch of turkeys from the kitchen. Colin suspected that Susannah was lying and chose not to steal Uncle Ray. Dawson is delighted and tells them that if they fill out a deposition and disappear, nothing will happen to them.

Back at the Chandler, Rembrandt helps Colin out of his Amish attire and into some more contemporary clothing.

Worlds Visited

	Colin Prime A primarily agricultural world similar to Pennsylvania Dutch communities, this world’s only major technological breakthroughs exist thanks to dimensionally transplanted Colin Mallory.
	Bone Graft World Paper money has gone the way of the dodo as financial institutions will now only accept transactions via bone grafts and DNA identification.

Details

• One woman on Bone Graft World is carrying a See’s Candies bag. It’s always good to know there’s chocolate.
• One of the current films on Bone Graft World is “Gone With the Future,” starring Michael J Fox as Rhett Butler.
• The Chandler Hotel on Bone Graft World is located on the corner of Spring Street and El Segundo.
• Uncle Ray is located in “suite” 433.
• Susannah Morehouse’s license plate is 21A8345.
• The Morehouse residence is located at 16509 Glen Allen Drive.
• Colin steals a coffin full of Butterball turkeys.
• The Morehouses are going to be charged with attempted homicide, post mortem.

Character Information

• Colin’s parents died when he was a young child. As a result, he was forced to move around and leave mementos behind as he grew up.
• Colin once trapped lightning in a stone jug.
• Quinn’s imaginary friend was named Skip.
• Colin’s imaginary friend was named Jedediah.

Money Matters

• Rembrandt and Maggie have plenty of money to spend on shopping thanks to Rembrandt’s systematic theft of his double’s bank accounts.
• The Sliders are also able to purchase a hotel room for three days upfront, in cash.

Notable Quotes

• “You know, one of these days we’re gonna slide into a world where all they speak is Greek. You’re gonna fit right in.” — Rembrandt, after one of Quinn’s technobabble-heavy explanations saying why they must be near where Colin lives on that world.
• “Great, we’re gonna get beat up by the cast of ‘Witness.'” — Quinn.
• “What’s a necromancer?” — Maggie.
  “I dunno, but it can’t be good.” — Rembrandt.
• “No one knows.” — Rembrandt, after Colin asks him what’s in Pepsi.
• “I think Rembrandt’s got a new playmate.” — Maggie, after Rembrandt shows off a shirt he bought for the new slider.
• “Why does that drink need an umbrella?” — Colin.
• “Are you some kind of lab experiment that blew up?” — Susannah.
  “People always ask me that.” — Colin.
• “Colin is certainly simpler.” — Maggie.

Nitpicks/Errors

• The boy sweeping the walk in El Segundo should try actually placing the broom on the wood instead of waving it back and forth a few inches off the ground.
• At one point in Colin’s workshop, the timer reads 1:67. Huh? Then, thirty seconds later, Rembrandt says they have ten or so minutes before the slide.
• If Quinn and the gang are in such a hurry to convince Colin of his true identity, don’t you think they would have walked faster? An hour to the outside of town is ridiculous.
• The truck keeps moving back and forth during the scene where everyone exits the vortex from above the road.
• The ever-annoying and controversial “We’re from Canada” begins in this episode.
• Since when did Quinn know how to pick locks or carry a set of picks with him? Did he learn from Wade after she took off the handcuffs in The King is Back?

Neatpicks

• Finally, an episode with normal, rational law enforcement.
• Colin’s amazement at the facilities is very funny.
• It’s also funny how Colin refers to the phone book as the “book of numbers.”

Rewind That!

• In El Segundo, as Colin walks down the street, a little kid pretends to fly as he walks past, mimicking Colin’s hang glider.
• The woman in the agrarian El Segundo where Colin lives throws urine at his feet when he walks by.
• Another citizen spits at Colin as he walks by.
• Colin has Icarus wings in his workshop.
• In the Chandler on Bone Graft Earth, Colin becomes fascinated by the Scotch tape and pulls several feet off of the roll.

Guest Stars

• Adrienne Barbeau as Mother Morehouse
• Susan Haskell as Susannah Morehouse
• Ben Jones as Sheriff/Dawson
• Van Stewman, Jr. as Farmer #1
• Martin Eric as Farmer #2
• Ishtar as Betty