Lotusland

Hey, mon! Drop Disney's "Cool Runnings" and experience the glory of poverty, AIDS and squalor without ever leaving the Bay Area! Lotusland has it all, just for you.

Parallel History

Bob Marley. Reggae. Dreadlocks. Ganja-filled air. These are the four stereotypical things you think of when you think of Jamaica. But did you know it was once peopled entirely by friendly Arawak Indians? When they were wiped out by the Spanish in the 15th and 16th centuries, they and the English imported blacks from Africa by the thousands. Somehow this hybrid society made its way to the mainland, and more importantly, California.

No one really knows when the Jamaican settlers overtook the Spanish occupations. The conquistadors were notoriously tight-lipped about their losses and the missions were razed in favor of plantations, so no documentation remains.

What does remain is a peaceful society dedicated to cultivating the most powerful herb in the world. Also, on this world, Bob Marley had his toe checked out, so he didn’t die a tragic and amusing death. Fortunately, Marley’s continued existence has stopped his son Ziggy play music of any kind.

Enjoy Lotusland for the mind-altering weed or the colorfully underdeveloped South California.

The Zimmerman Telegraph

Rolled up, packed with chronic and smoked as the Blunt of Peace.