Youth World

Ever thought those 11-year-old prodigies were extremely annoying and needed to be beaten? Step back from Youth World, where simply being older than 20 is a faux pas.

Parallel History

The youth took over in 1980 after it was determined that the social security system would bankrupt U.S. economy. The environment was befouled and the nuclear arms race threatened the future of mankind.

Howard Stern, still a local radio DJ at the time working for DC-101 in the nation’s capital, immediately found his broadcasts being syndicated around the country, advancing his career goal of “King of All Media” by 15 years when his clever, angry missives against President Jimmy Carter found an audience. Prompted to run himself, Stern joined the Libertarian Party and eked out a win over both Carter and Ronald Reagan, bringing an end to the bi-partisan political structure.

Stern immediately set the voting age to nine and, because the Baby Boom generation was considered to have overtaken the available job market, it became mandatory to retire at age 30.

As a result, America has become more environmentally conscious; to wit, the recycling program has soared while the clear-cutting of forests has been outlawed. In addition, with obsolescence looming so quickly, youth graduate from college at 12 and most have advanced degrees by 17 so that they can make their millions and retire in style.

Ironically, the biggest problem facing Youth World is a shoddy public school system. In 1996, California almost accepted EduLearn, a computerized schooling program, as a substitute for teachers. However, when the creators of EduLearn became embroiled in a nasty murder frame-up, legislators abandoned the project and pumped massive funding into public schools. All private institutions were nationalized to help expedite the project.

The Supreme Court on Youth World voted to suspend Social Security, prompting massive protest. Mandatory retirement is 40, rather than 30, in Florida.